her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
