Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
