His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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