i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sober January is a disaster.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So much rum. So many feels.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
