I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
