So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
