Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So much Jack, so little girl.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize