I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
