drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I want a musical about memes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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