so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize