I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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