Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
