Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
