so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
