Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You can't special order awesome
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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