I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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