is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Operation Purity has been aborted
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
