nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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