so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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