Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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