he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
