you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
