lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
