So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
