my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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