Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
