EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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