We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
