I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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