that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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