hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
