I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
