I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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