moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
