who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
