i will never coherently bang her
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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