I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
