how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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