She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
