My nipple is on Facebook.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
