i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
