If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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