if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
