i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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