(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
