Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you still have your period?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
