so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
