This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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