finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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