my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
