Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
