billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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