Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I want her autograph on my taint
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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