You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
