he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize