people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
In America we eat man semen.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
