I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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