I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize