Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
