It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
