I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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