??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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