I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
