Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
