U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
