I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
