i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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